You’re fat, bald and ugly

You’re not getting any younger

You crave success, knowledge, and wisdom

Yet you do nothing to satisfy your hunger

The way you waste opportunities

It’s the worst kind of extravagance

You loathe yourself

For good reason

And the way you treat your body, it’s almost treason

Big Mike, just go to bed

Lie down and rest your weary head

The mind says “No! I cannot rest!

For my stomach churns, and my heart beats out of my chest!”

Big Mike, just let her go!

You know she’s nothing but a God Damned Hoe!

Oh, but no. I love the hoe, you see?

Can’t you see what she means to me?

I know I’m crazy. I should let things lie

But without her, my heart feels like it has died

The knife plunges into my stomach, deeper and deeper

I wish things could be different, that I could keep her

She’s no good for me, nor I for her

I believe “Toxic” is the word

So now, I bid thee adieu

Happy trails, to you, and you, and you